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Good bye eFax/J2Fax

I love how technology allows customer service reps to copy and paste scripted rebuttals and offers during a chat session. The chat session was the "only" way to cancel my eFax account (other than hunting for a phone number, cleverly embedded within the knowledgebase). So, I had to install another piece of software I'll use this once just to get this:
(btw, "this" was the second go around, having nearly completed the cancelation the first time until my computer decided to reboot)

Welcome to chat.
The session has been accepted.
{- Stanley K.} Hello, Cynthia. Welcome to j2 Global online support. I am Stanley, your online Live Support Representative. How may I assist you?
{cynthia} I was disconnected earlier when I was trying to cancel my acct
{- Stanley K.} I am sorry to hear that you wish to cancel. Could you please provide me with your Fax number and PIN for verification?
{cynthia} I am not interested in your offer for a couple of months free
{cynthia} fax\PIN
{- Stanley K.} Please give me a moment, while I quickly check your account.
{- Stanley K.} Thank you for providing your information. Please type the number corresponding to your reason for cancellation:

1) Moving to another provider
2) Bought a Fax machine
3) Business or role changed
4) Short term project completed
5) Financial reasons
6) Problems with Faxing or Billing
7) Dissatisfied with Quality of service
8) Too Costly

{cynthia} 8
{cynthia} is this really going to take this long?
{- Stanley K.} Cynthia, we really value your long association and relationship with us. As you are one of our esteemed customer, we understand that you currently find it too expensive to pay the monthly fee. In this situation, we will waive the monthly fee for the next two months. This will allow you to use the fax service without a monthly fee for the next two billing cycles. Usage charges are applicable for sending faxes.
{- Stanley K.} Your eFax account will be credited with $33.90. You may use our services without being billed the monthly fee for the next two billing cycles. By this way, you can derive maximum value for the money you have spent for our services.
{- Stanley K.} As you will not be charged the monthly fee for the next two months, you could keep the account till then. If you still feel that you do not have any use for our services by the end of the two months credit period, please feel free to contact us anytime. Will that be fine ?
{cynthia} dude - I said no
{cynthia} can u please just cancel this acct?
{- Stanley K.} I completely understand your wish to discontinue, since you have already paid for the month, we do not want you to lose out on the money. I suggest you to retain this number at least till the end of two months credit offer as you will not be charged any monthly fee for the two months. As a good will gesture to continue our association we will offer you an additional gift balance of $10 along with the monthly credit which will enable to send up to 100 additional fax pages free of cost(per page per minute within US & Canada).
{- Stanley K.} During this two months credit period, you can keep this service active and if you use it once in these two months we will be more than happy that we were able to serve you.
{- Stanley K.} If you do not wish to continue beyond this waiver period, then there is no obligation to continue. There are no contracts. All you would need to do is, contact us just once, anytime during this credit period to re-confirm your decision. We are at your service, round the clock, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You can reevaluate your faxing needs during this period.
{cynthia} I have been evaluating my fax needs for years and have continued the service through ridiculous increases... it does not suit my needs, please stop reading from a script and cancel my acct.
{- Stanley K.} All right, I respect your decision and will cancel your number immediately.
{- Stanley K.} We are sorry that you have decided to leave eFax. We are continuously improving our products and services. Please do consider us if your faxing needs should change in the future. We would be more than happy to have you back.
{- Stanley K.} Is there anything else I can assist you with today?
{cynthia} will I get a confirmation email?
{- Stanley K.} Yes, you will receive an email confirmation as regards to cancelation of your account immediately after this chat session gets over.


Wow... wasn't that fun? It only took 13 minutes to get through [sarcasm dripping].

Comments

  1. He was probably making his day a little more bearable by giving you a hard time! And, it's chat, how loud can you scream using chat?

    ReplyDelete

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