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WTF, I'm in Ecuador again

This time I am tidying up this little dangly bit, so others don't have to, setting things as straight as I can as someone who has learned from experience that the letting go of each evolutionary step is what allows us to evolve.

Nothing ironic or contradictory about that catch-22.

Not a thing.

Except this happened.

I was offered a space in a group shamanic ritual

Of course, I casually jumped at the (what would be) once-in-a-lifetime offer. How much would I need to donate (read "cost"). How long will it take? I can't miss my plane back to the States. What can I expect? Throwing up and taking turns throwing hanging your ass over a hole in the ground called a toilet. Careful not to fall in! 

So I went.

And I was the very last to puke, which seemed like I was blessed, but I think it was because I knew not to go back for a second cup. I'm experienced if you know what I mean. For goodness sake, I was already so cleaaannnnn. Our time in Ecuador was a fast-tracked version of enlightenment. Like a spiritual bootcamp and a reset I wasn't knowingly aware of. And you had to purge if you wanted the truth.

We sold everything, but the house (because we couldn't - recession) and said goodbye anyway. It created so much levity in both of us, that it felt like we were done unburdening ourselves of the weight of the world. The giant pack of failures called The Past had finally slipped off our backs. We had been listening to and integrating teachings of local spiritual types and global thought leaders urging us to work the Silva Method and control your minds so that no one else can. Nature abhors a vacuum.
But that's another story.

It's the difference between thinking you had an orgasm to holy shit, that was soul-shattering! When I say, I felt that everything was One, I mean I felt it from all my bodies at once. That was 2010. People are like, what the hell are you talking about? I can only say that every part of me knew the truth of my existence as a single atom of nature and that we all come from the same parts which makes us All One.

When you simplify things, find the common denominator and match atomic units, you understand that we are just different expressions of the same Lego set. 


with love,
Nani

p.s. I forgot to finish that story.
It was literally upon the aha moment of my oneness realization that I projectile vomited into the jungle just to the right of where I sat then gazed down the footpath to the large hut where lights were coming on to call us back for the rest of the journey (if we felt the pull). I thought about a giant snake coming up to me, which is a mental motif I live with almost daily, and said hello. I am no longer afraid of these images to this day and welcome them when I sit upon the ground. The added value was that I felt physically clean, like I had never ever felt before, for months - literally months afterwards. I can't describe it any other way. Clarity and a sense of purpose and the willpower to combine these bodies together as one - my second or third peak in life. It lasted a couple of years.

And now this. Struggling to bring them together. I am beyond group work now - I need to find the seams and knit them back together. It is after all, the final innings of this game, and I know how to finish up strong.

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