For as long as I can remember, I have these thoughts - auditory visions if you can stretch this analogy - when seemingly, my mind should be turned off and relaxing, enjoying the mindless broadcast from the tube or sitting in the spaces between material and natural, visiting it seems, the edges of my own sanity.
In other words, I talk to myself. Not out loud, of course, because that's
just crazy.
My ego speaks to me when I seek quiet. A noisy respite from my own daily doings. It really should be more quiet, and often I can turn down the volume or shut it up - literally sometimes - I say out loud, "enough!", as if that is required to make my ego listen and pipe down for a moment. I choose this action when there is repetitive, negative haranguing of someone I am clearly not speaking with at the moment - a dress rehearsal of sorts for the actual moment when I may pick up my skirt and read the riot act to someone that my ego has deemed unworthy of "live and let live".
People bug me.
But back to my nagging ego. I shall label it Nego because it is the negative aspect of my ego.
This Nego I must control verbally at times, but it is there as an indicator that I need to chill out.
On the flip side, which is the reason for this little tirade, I have a brilliantly quiet ego that chatters incessantly when I'm tired or exhausted, forcing me to take a moment to listen because, lo and behold, it's really good stuff. I have dreams occasionally - as do most people - that are simply brilliant. Answers to life's indecision or a way to secure the chicken coop for winter or the truly best way to eat an Oreo.
I haven't named this part of my ego yet. Perhaps it will come in one of my "visions".
In other words, I talk to myself. Not out loud, of course, because that's
just crazy.
My ego speaks to me when I seek quiet. A noisy respite from my own daily doings. It really should be more quiet, and often I can turn down the volume or shut it up - literally sometimes - I say out loud, "enough!", as if that is required to make my ego listen and pipe down for a moment. I choose this action when there is repetitive, negative haranguing of someone I am clearly not speaking with at the moment - a dress rehearsal of sorts for the actual moment when I may pick up my skirt and read the riot act to someone that my ego has deemed unworthy of "live and let live".
People bug me.
But back to my nagging ego. I shall label it Nego because it is the negative aspect of my ego.
This Nego I must control verbally at times, but it is there as an indicator that I need to chill out.
On the flip side, which is the reason for this little tirade, I have a brilliantly quiet ego that chatters incessantly when I'm tired or exhausted, forcing me to take a moment to listen because, lo and behold, it's really good stuff. I have dreams occasionally - as do most people - that are simply brilliant. Answers to life's indecision or a way to secure the chicken coop for winter or the truly best way to eat an Oreo.
I haven't named this part of my ego yet. Perhaps it will come in one of my "visions".
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